22 Comments
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Vicki's avatar

Put that Vapo Rub on your feet then socks before you go to bed. Yes, socks. Then on back and chest; wear a T-Shirt. Trust me, it helps. Feel better!

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Andrea Stoeckel's avatar

Ok, I understand. And yea, you ain't dying. But as a pastor I have to ask. . seriously: Do you have a will, a power of attorney, a power of attorney for heath care and a cemetery plot? Any single over 18 should have at least 3 and they should be updated at moves and changes of status or at least reviewed every 5 years

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Anna Dorhy's avatar

He's married. His husband gets to decide what becomes of the half finished bottles of snake wine. And no one needs a cemetery plot. That's what coffee cans are for.

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Chris Jones's avatar

RIP good sir!

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Charlie O's avatar

The world must stop immediately and provide the support you need! Hot tea/coffee - whatever you want! Fuzzy socks, now! Grilled cheese sandwich, stat! Yummy hot, homemade soup! Your favorite throw to be used in your favorite chair. You get control of the remote until you are well!

Feel better after you’ve milked this plan for at least 2 days or more. 🌷 stick to the plan! you can to do this!

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RoseyT's avatar

I’m sorry you have a man cold.

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Gigi Tierney's avatar

Careful with the ‘quils. I find that taking it extends the number of days I feel sick.

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Lori's avatar

When I had the flu a few weeks ago, my husband brought me my best blanket, Gatorade (yellow of course), and found "Price is Right - at Night!" for me to stream so I wouldn't have to wake-up to watch the real one. I was the happiest, most disgusting feeling person around.

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Michelle Hare's avatar

Whenever I'm struck down by the common cold I, too, have to tell everyone about my symptoms as though I'm the only person in the world to have ever had a cold, and YOU don't know just how bad it is, and if YOUR cold only lasts for a couple of days then it's clearly JUST a sniffle, because my colds last for at least a couple of weeks, because MY colds are worse than yours. So there. (Seriously, you have my sympathy. Why haven't they invented a cure yet? I mean, I know why. But, why??)

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Tara Murphy's avatar

As a woman, it pains me to say that studies have shown that men DO suffer more when they have a cold.

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RoseyT's avatar

Noooooo!

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Lorie Cunningham's avatar

You make me laugh out loud every time I read your fabulous words even when I’m dying from whatever my current misery is at the moment. Just know your suffering brings the rest of us a much needed laugh!

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Pamela J Detwiler's avatar

Coincidentally, I am home sick today. I'm not being dramatic about it, though, because the animals don't care. They just want belly rubs and food. My Disney movie of choice today was Ratatouille, then OG Law and Order the rest of the day while I catch up on Substack. If I had been at work, I would have been writing your last will and testament for you. Now you have to wait.

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Jeanne Rietzke's avatar

🤣🤣🫂🫂🤧😷

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Jessica Smith's avatar

My six-year-old has a cold. As I write this, she’s laying her stuffed-up hot potato head on my shoulder and coughing in my ear. She’s very sweet when she’s sick and her little voice sounds all congested.🥹

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Jenny's avatar

The alarm panel at my work has been beeping continuously for weeks and I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I wish I had a cold. Come lick my face. I'll give you Reese's.

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Allison McBain Hudson's avatar

I can forgive everything but the "clunky metaphor" crack about Narnia. How very dare you interrogate the most magical of stories! (but I hope you feel better soon!)

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Linda Wilson-Gordon's avatar

Well everyone else has already sent you wishes for a speedy recovery so you should have enough by now. I will just say that you’re absolutely right about Thanksgiving/ Christmas/ New Year’s being all crammed together. TG needs to be in April so that traveling over the river would be much simpler! Travel in November is tough! Besides, it’s my birthday month and the entire month needs to be spent celebrating that! And if I lived a lot closer instead of clear across the country I would definitely bring you homemade chicken noodle soup and 3 cheese on sourdough grilled sandwiches. Enjoy your staycation and insist that everyone who actually lives close to you take care of you and give you total control of the remote.

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