“Yeah, every single day is a hopeless balancing act between shielding myself from the stress of the news while at the same time trying to stay informed enough to protect myself and the people I love.” This is my life now.
I so get this but for somewhat different reasons. when I got divorced many years ago, we sold our house and I basically moved every year, as I was renting, and lived in every city in my county, could move in a couple of hours by filling trash bags and squishing most everything into my car, along with one friend who had a truck where we could put whatever furniture I was taking. it became an annual spring activity. I had gone back to school, was sharing custody, and waitressing, with minimal dollars and sleep. this went on for 2 zillion or so years, I lost count. but I still have moving ptsd even all these many years later. I finally bought my own house again, got a grad degree, worked, retired, sold my house, bought a condo and am never moving again, unless I'm in a state where I don't know and that will be fine. one time I had a really heavy hand me down dubious sleeper sofa and I was going to have to pay someone to haul it out and my daughter said, just try to sell it really cheaply and they'll pay you to take it off your hands and haul it out for free. brilliant child. they paid me $40 for the honor and I wept.
The thrift store would never take back my furniture, so we would drag it out to the road put a free sign on it and it would be gone in less than 24 hrs. Tried giving stuff away on FB marketplace...what a stupid thing. people wanted tons of photos, provenance, every detail...I keep saying...it is free.
Omg yes! And all the people that say they will come after work, or in a few hours… and never show up. After you’ve already told other interested people that the item is gone.
I'm 61 and my total lifetime moves is 57. I generally only last a max of 5 years anywhere and I just passed year 6 in my current house. Instead of packing everything up in box this time, I remodeled my garage into a studio for me. It was almost as good as a move! So much crap to get rid of, a POD out on the street to pack and unpack, more crap to get rid of that didn't fit in the new space. Highly recommended. Oh and I'm a serial mover like you, back and forth between Boston and Portland Oregon. Over and over and over. Thanks for the laugh!
I’m currently packing up my late mother’s AND sorting all my stuff that got shoved in the back shed when I moved back to care for her. It’s been a time, shall we say.
And if any shop in the world invites an existential crisis it’s Ikea. I got lost in one whilst desperately searching for a toilet. (A real one). I scared a few people when I finally found it and bolted out the exit like a madwoman.
So, when you sit on a futon, are you able to just like sit normally, all inconspicuous and human like? Or is it obvious that you are a person in distress? I need to be in the fetal position with my hands pressed tightly over my ears and my eyes squeezed shut. That way noone can see me.😅
I’m not gonna lie, I paused, mouth agape when I read 37. I don’t know how old you are now but you’ve always struck me as someone so cozy in that part of yourself, and whose always been that way. I hope it’s not good masking, and you are comfortable and not still itchy or whatever you felt that made you run.
It sure looks cozy from over here in heteronormative marriage. (0 stars, do not recommend.)
Before I became a line in a Paul Simon song, I fantasized often about being an expat writer living somewhere hot. Like Africa hot. Did you ever have that dream? (Like Europe, or something less hot though.)
The last time I moved was right around this time 11 years ago. We had lived in that house for 7ish years. 4 in the house previous to that, 2 in the condo before that. We got divorced pretty immediately after we moved to this house, and I decided that I was staying here.
Right before we moved, I distinctly remember one of my coworkers telling me that moving was “manufactured stress,” and insinuating that I was essentially causing my own problems. I wanted to punch her in the face. “Manufactured stress,” alright. How about I give you some manufactured stress right here???? 🙄🙄🙄
Thank you for the huge laugh. DJs setting up..... hilarious. I can relate to it all. I cry when I have to call my bank and they ask me security questions.
It’s 5.23am here and once again you’re keeping me company and helping me feel less insane. That’s great for me, probably not so much for you. I’m now trying to identify which of my mice has fallen off its wheel. At this point I’m pretty sure they all fucked off down the pub at some point last week. Anyway, thanks (again) for making our “quirks” funny as hell.
Anxiety in all its shiesty disguises is the gift that keeps on giving except it's like one of those stupid ideas someone found on Pinterest to add some razzle dazzle to Christmas morning by wrapping a lame gift in multiple layers of wrapping paper to pass around, until someone unwraps the final layer to discover they're the re-recipient of the re-gifted candle they tried to get rid of last year.
Kudos, good sir, for recognizing the source of your IKEA-induced meltdown. Honestly, who doesn't want to pitch a fit in the middle of housewares when you're trapped like a rat in a maze of such orderliness & pleasantry? I start out IKEA-happy & then about midway through I feel like I'm stuck in a Swedish Stepford Wives musical about to break into a chorus of "another pleasant valley Sunday..." ( Ännu en trevlig dalsöndag), praying that I don't accidentally allegedly stab anyone with my tiny eraserless pencil.
I had my last not at home meltdown last Thanksgiving in the hotel room we booked at the Holiday Inn Express when we visited my mother. (Naturally.) In the middle of the night I awoke in a sweaty panic & didn't want to disturb my husband or daughter. So I tried sleeping in the bathtub (thankfully dry) with my pillow. Not great, so I ended up curled up under the desk, which I KNOW is disgusting & I would NEVER do such a thing if I'd had a single firing synapse of sanity left at that moment. Eventually my aversion to hotel carpeting, the unexplainability factor, & the sheer stupidity of what I was doing overrode everything else & I ended up going back to bed, staring at the ceiling til dawn, obsessing over the untested gluten free stuffing recipe I had to make in a few hours.
I never told anyone (TILL NOW), because there was no explanation I could fathom that wouldn't have ended with me being deservedly checked in to the nearest haunted asylum. Or if my mother had her druthers, a prayer meeting, followed by laying on of hands, followed by an exorcism, followed by some sort of evangelical conversion therapy.
Oh crap! I counted. Earlier I was feeling too lazy, but I just now got curious. 33 times. I’m 45. I didn’t even think of myself as a serial mover. I’m an always poor, sometimes friendless introvert who can’t ask for help, so I’ve had some interesting moving experiences.😅 But 33 times?!😳
Oh Jonathan. I can see you. My 45 yr old son met his now wife in 2011. Together they have moved 14 times. Their son, my only grand will be 12 and they moved with him at least 11 times. My grand has OCD and my son has an anxiety disorder and ADHD. They make it work but there is so much angst and pain. Honestly my late hubs and I were not willing to settle down either but then we bought this tiny house, raised both boys and I am in year 42, trying to sell and move and making myself crazy with the logistics. My son has perfected his moving skills ala Tetris. They are renting and want to buy now and I hope they can. BTW I am an expert IKEA flatpack furniture builder. I moved 10 times from 1973 to 79, then hubs and I did6 more times until 83 when we bought this little place. I am really having second thoughts about moving, but I could get rid of my mortgage if I sell. Tempting at age 72.
I have moved 6 times in 67 years (I’m not counting one time because I moved b.a.c.k) and each time took approximately 2 years to calm down. May 3. Oh hell. I’m still not over the last one and it was 15 years ago and I can feel my blood pressure rising right now thinking about it. How did you do it? How??
“Yeah, every single day is a hopeless balancing act between shielding myself from the stress of the news while at the same time trying to stay informed enough to protect myself and the people I love.” This is my life now.
I so get this but for somewhat different reasons. when I got divorced many years ago, we sold our house and I basically moved every year, as I was renting, and lived in every city in my county, could move in a couple of hours by filling trash bags and squishing most everything into my car, along with one friend who had a truck where we could put whatever furniture I was taking. it became an annual spring activity. I had gone back to school, was sharing custody, and waitressing, with minimal dollars and sleep. this went on for 2 zillion or so years, I lost count. but I still have moving ptsd even all these many years later. I finally bought my own house again, got a grad degree, worked, retired, sold my house, bought a condo and am never moving again, unless I'm in a state where I don't know and that will be fine. one time I had a really heavy hand me down dubious sleeper sofa and I was going to have to pay someone to haul it out and my daughter said, just try to sell it really cheaply and they'll pay you to take it off your hands and haul it out for free. brilliant child. they paid me $40 for the honor and I wept.
The thrift store would never take back my furniture, so we would drag it out to the road put a free sign on it and it would be gone in less than 24 hrs. Tried giving stuff away on FB marketplace...what a stupid thing. people wanted tons of photos, provenance, every detail...I keep saying...it is free.
Omg yes! And all the people that say they will come after work, or in a few hours… and never show up. After you’ve already told other interested people that the item is gone.
Do you ever have waitressing nightmares? Its been a decade or more and I still get one every now and again.
yes!!!!!!!
*shudder*
I'm 61 and my total lifetime moves is 57. I generally only last a max of 5 years anywhere and I just passed year 6 in my current house. Instead of packing everything up in box this time, I remodeled my garage into a studio for me. It was almost as good as a move! So much crap to get rid of, a POD out on the street to pack and unpack, more crap to get rid of that didn't fit in the new space. Highly recommended. Oh and I'm a serial mover like you, back and forth between Boston and Portland Oregon. Over and over and over. Thanks for the laugh!
Damn, Jonathan, I laughed nonstop at this until it hit my serial mover nerve(s) and prompted some squeaky tears. Guess I needed a little catharsis.
I’m currently packing up my late mother’s AND sorting all my stuff that got shoved in the back shed when I moved back to care for her. It’s been a time, shall we say.
And if any shop in the world invites an existential crisis it’s Ikea. I got lost in one whilst desperately searching for a toilet. (A real one). I scared a few people when I finally found it and bolted out the exit like a madwoman.
So, when you sit on a futon, are you able to just like sit normally, all inconspicuous and human like? Or is it obvious that you are a person in distress? I need to be in the fetal position with my hands pressed tightly over my ears and my eyes squeezed shut. That way noone can see me.😅
I’m not gonna lie, I paused, mouth agape when I read 37. I don’t know how old you are now but you’ve always struck me as someone so cozy in that part of yourself, and whose always been that way. I hope it’s not good masking, and you are comfortable and not still itchy or whatever you felt that made you run.
It sure looks cozy from over here in heteronormative marriage. (0 stars, do not recommend.)
Before I became a line in a Paul Simon song, I fantasized often about being an expat writer living somewhere hot. Like Africa hot. Did you ever have that dream? (Like Europe, or something less hot though.)
The last time I moved was right around this time 11 years ago. We had lived in that house for 7ish years. 4 in the house previous to that, 2 in the condo before that. We got divorced pretty immediately after we moved to this house, and I decided that I was staying here.
Right before we moved, I distinctly remember one of my coworkers telling me that moving was “manufactured stress,” and insinuating that I was essentially causing my own problems. I wanted to punch her in the face. “Manufactured stress,” alright. How about I give you some manufactured stress right here???? 🙄🙄🙄
Hugs for the panic attack. 💝
Now I don't feel so bad for moving 15 times in my 65 years lol
Same Melody.
And in three months, will be moving across the pond! I'm sure that won't be my last move either lol
Wow- Bon voyage, that’s a BIG move! :)
Thank you for the huge laugh. DJs setting up..... hilarious. I can relate to it all. I cry when I have to call my bank and they ask me security questions.
It’s 5.23am here and once again you’re keeping me company and helping me feel less insane. That’s great for me, probably not so much for you. I’m now trying to identify which of my mice has fallen off its wheel. At this point I’m pretty sure they all fucked off down the pub at some point last week. Anyway, thanks (again) for making our “quirks” funny as hell.
Anxiety in all its shiesty disguises is the gift that keeps on giving except it's like one of those stupid ideas someone found on Pinterest to add some razzle dazzle to Christmas morning by wrapping a lame gift in multiple layers of wrapping paper to pass around, until someone unwraps the final layer to discover they're the re-recipient of the re-gifted candle they tried to get rid of last year.
Kudos, good sir, for recognizing the source of your IKEA-induced meltdown. Honestly, who doesn't want to pitch a fit in the middle of housewares when you're trapped like a rat in a maze of such orderliness & pleasantry? I start out IKEA-happy & then about midway through I feel like I'm stuck in a Swedish Stepford Wives musical about to break into a chorus of "another pleasant valley Sunday..." ( Ännu en trevlig dalsöndag), praying that I don't accidentally allegedly stab anyone with my tiny eraserless pencil.
I had my last not at home meltdown last Thanksgiving in the hotel room we booked at the Holiday Inn Express when we visited my mother. (Naturally.) In the middle of the night I awoke in a sweaty panic & didn't want to disturb my husband or daughter. So I tried sleeping in the bathtub (thankfully dry) with my pillow. Not great, so I ended up curled up under the desk, which I KNOW is disgusting & I would NEVER do such a thing if I'd had a single firing synapse of sanity left at that moment. Eventually my aversion to hotel carpeting, the unexplainability factor, & the sheer stupidity of what I was doing overrode everything else & I ended up going back to bed, staring at the ceiling til dawn, obsessing over the untested gluten free stuffing recipe I had to make in a few hours.
I never told anyone (TILL NOW), because there was no explanation I could fathom that wouldn't have ended with me being deservedly checked in to the nearest haunted asylum. Or if my mother had her druthers, a prayer meeting, followed by laying on of hands, followed by an exorcism, followed by some sort of evangelical conversion therapy.
Oh crap! I counted. Earlier I was feeling too lazy, but I just now got curious. 33 times. I’m 45. I didn’t even think of myself as a serial mover. I’m an always poor, sometimes friendless introvert who can’t ask for help, so I’ve had some interesting moving experiences.😅 But 33 times?!😳
Oh Jonathan. I can see you. My 45 yr old son met his now wife in 2011. Together they have moved 14 times. Their son, my only grand will be 12 and they moved with him at least 11 times. My grand has OCD and my son has an anxiety disorder and ADHD. They make it work but there is so much angst and pain. Honestly my late hubs and I were not willing to settle down either but then we bought this tiny house, raised both boys and I am in year 42, trying to sell and move and making myself crazy with the logistics. My son has perfected his moving skills ala Tetris. They are renting and want to buy now and I hope they can. BTW I am an expert IKEA flatpack furniture builder. I moved 10 times from 1973 to 79, then hubs and I did6 more times until 83 when we bought this little place. I am really having second thoughts about moving, but I could get rid of my mortgage if I sell. Tempting at age 72.
I have moved 6 times in 67 years (I’m not counting one time because I moved b.a.c.k) and each time took approximately 2 years to calm down. May 3. Oh hell. I’m still not over the last one and it was 15 years ago and I can feel my blood pressure rising right now thinking about it. How did you do it? How??
Also, I feel that itch at 2.5 years. I’m just behind you at 18 times.
Per usual, I loved this! So much truth in one little trip to the Ikea <3